i keep thinking that i know how my friends feel and my Juniors feel. but the fact is like NO!!! i kno wthey are not happy or happy or even have any new things happen to them. but i just somehow like know and dunno. i dun dare to ask. and the more i ask it feels like i want to enter their problems. and somehow give them stress indirectly.

i always say you or pple or that person is so no sensative. but i think carefully now i am the one. i am the one always make them worry what me. i feel so bad. i dunn how to help them. is like more i say the more i want to disturb their own live.

or maybe all the problems they have also started with me. hai i really dunno how to read everyones mind. i just suddenly feel so distance with everyone. cause i really dunno what they are thinking. or maybe even they dun like me at all but just..... know act normal.

i think some of my friends are rite. i must really learn to protect myself first.

now i scare that i will sabo my company in BMT.

god pls bless me and save me from all this. grant me with the sensative mind to understand pple more.

friends are very important.

and they are also very fragile.

once break very hard to glue in together.

even if can there is still scars that will never be remove.

i dunno whether is break.

i want to know.

but somehow i just dunno.

sad.

i want to sing K BOX!!!!!!
i suddenly got the feel to sing out whatever i have been thru and how i feel. is been a long time i have sing. this feeling is back after i watch american idol.
sing is a very special feel like conductor. you can express what you want for the song and how you feel for the song. or even sing out a story about ourselves in the song. let everyone know who you are where you from and share your story with them.

ok let me blog about the past few days. many things have happen, angry, sad, emo but at least there is still happy :)

firstly, i will say the angry things that happen. actually only got one la, but i dun wish to say what happen but i just feel i fail as a friend, brother, educator to bring him to the rite path. but ching si said something that is rite. maybe is the way i do it, and the other guy also have his rite. so i just let nature take its course. but i still cannot stand the way he treat girls la.

secondly, i uncle just past away during chinese new year. i dun really feel anything cause he is not very close to me but my aunt and cousins. but at the point where they have to burn things for him, theyhave to use a stick to hit on the floor and shout his name to collect the thing we burn for him. at the point of time, my cousin (mei lin) she started shout very loudly and hitting very hard. ah pa collect your house and car and money, ah pa collect your house and money! i suddenly feel very sad, my heart is aching and tears start rolling down my face. suddenly feel the importance of my family and friends. and of course no smoking. smoking took away his life.

lastly, is very funny to chat with kok seng, kelly, yan lin on the phone middle of the night. the best is, we can chat anything under the sun or moon. hahaha very happy to know them. and tw band is improving in a way that i cannot believe, and they now have faith and trust in me to pass on all my music ideas to them. 7 march is their performance. i will be conducting, but only when you all believe in me and i can believe in you. so that we can show how good we are. later in the afternoon, sectional on march blue sky and legend from yao.

ok this is what i have to blog. :)

finally i feel some sense of happiness in me:)
thanks to all my friends who believe in me:)

jing jing ask me to stop writing emo things in blog le. but then everytime before i blog i see things that make me shock and disappointed.

i really dun want this to happen.

i am just too busy body

and the things is i cannot help it.

soon or later, everyone will say i am bias and angry with me.

so the last thing to solve this is to, leave them soon.

happy V day

had a nice Vday with my friends today:)

happy chinese new year

i feel in between something.

i feel happy for a friend.

at the same time feel sad for my section junior.

but this is part of life.

but i still shock for that answer i know.

but i understand.

may everyone get alot s of red packet

i always feel very worry for alot of things.

whenever i step into tw band or alumni band, i always worry that i not good enough. i worry that i cannot pass down the things i learn to them.

worry about friends around me. in trouble or and problems.

worry to see them sad and alone there without anyone to cry to.

worry about the kids in tw in school work conduct and everything.

worry about how pple look at me.

and worry alot of things around me at every single minute.

i hope i can learn to stop worrying so much.

but it seems worst.

but i hope when you guys read it, but stop letting me know things too.

cause when i found out, i will be worst.

finally it has ended

Finally i have finish my poly life. ( that is if i pass everything :P)
feeling so free now. but there is still alot of things that i cannot do in the pass, i can try to do it now.:)

today went back to teck whye with darryl and yan lin. and i feel that tw is now getting better. like tone, tuning and even how the music should sound. today they complete the whole song of legend from yao.

i dunno what to talk leh la. haha

things that i must do before new year:

->buy new year clothes

->write out the songs for tw brass

->improve in myself

->help everyone i can that need my help now.