come and know my other side

Sorry for the blogging for so long.

firstly, i wanna say that i am very happy with my last md.
-> thanks to all the yr 3, i happy and proud to play with you guys for 3 yrs.
-> thanks to all my close friends in sp band. is you all that make me feel happy in band and stay thru out my poly life.
-> thanks to my section. i love you all! :) i like the gift too.
-> thanks to special pple who have believe in me and make me a better person and a player.

i dunno what to say le so i think should be enough.

secondly, i feel very lost suddenly. dunno is because not sp band or sch work start to stress up me. next week will be my exam week le. i get angry very easily and sorry to pple who i throw temper at. i dunno, out of the suddenly i know alot of things. but i dunno i should know or should not know. trying to help pple to solve problems. in the end get myself in to problems too.

today my fyp project viva i also got shoot by both my supervisor and my group mates did not. went to teck whye, run thru the band with their sec 1 training pieces and somehow make them very unhappy. and somemore i dunno why today i dun dare to look into you went your parts is playing. and suddenly stop playing. i really dunno what happen. whole day never talk to me at all.

i also feel that i am too ambitious, let teck whye sight read things that they cannot and things that i cannot follow myself as a conductor. i will very sorry and very disappointed with myself.
this feeling sucks. i moral suddenly just drop dead. i just too ambitious. mr colin is rite i think i have go to another high where i think teck whye can manage. but cannot. i really dunno where i stand sometime. i dunno very sad dun dare to go back.

maybe i just have to many stress on myself.

i disappoint with myself, i try to help but in the end the same thing happen.
maybe you just not convincing enough.
i am an asshole.